How A Life Coach Taught Me to Sleep!
I know I’m not alone in the allusive pursuit of sleep. Many women in their sixties suffer sleep disturbances. I have had middle-of-the-night insomnia–when you wake up at 3 or 4 and can’t go back to sleep— for over five years. That has changed for me thanks to lifestyle changes and an insightful life coach.
Understanding Sleep Challenges
My quest for better sleep began in my 50s. First, I tried HRT. Then, I had a sleep study to rule out sleep apnea. I saw a neurologist who prescribed sleeping pills of various kinds that did nothing. A sleep psychologist worked with me using the CBT-i app (very instructive and a great way to track what’s going on). I tried supplements like magnesium and melatonin, and balms and oils with lavender. I listened (still do) to guided meditations designed to help you fall asleep. I gave up napping, avoided screens at night, and got outside in the early morning sun and again in the late sun to align with my circadian rhythm. I reduced my coffee to mostly decaf and avoided even that after the morning.
I was still awake by 3 or 4 on a good day. I learned to get up and start my day and make friends with being tired. Some days, I would go back to bed at about 9 am and sleep for an hour or two to catch up. I was very frustrated. I began to dread bedtime.
Diving into Sleep Research
I read all the latest research from Matthew P. Walker’s fairly technical book Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams and Satchan Panda’s The Circadian Code: Lose Weight, Supercharge Your Energy, and Transform Your Health from Morning to Midnight. All along the way, I have picked up helpful information. But I wasn’t very successful.
A few months ago, I made a sleep protocol habit tracker that listed a dozen tiny habits to help me sleep that I gleaned from the research. After a few weeks of continued middle-of-the-night insomnia, I drew a line through the tracker and wrote “F*ck It” across the page.
The Challenge: No Coffee Until Sunrise
And then, I had a coach make a suggestion. She challenged me not to have my coffee until the sun came up.
WHAT! I will die if I wake up at 3 am and can’t have coffee until 7. I will be miserable. I would rather not sleep than give up my coffee first thing. And it was mostly decaf, so there was no way that was the problem.
I felt that thing you feel when you know it’s the right thing to do. You feel that thing because every part of you says NO WAY IN HELL AM I DOING THAT, and you know that is precisely what you need to do.
Guess what? My body had been waking up to have coffee at 3 or 4. Even though it was decaf, the pleasure I got from my coffee made me want to get out of bed in the middle of the night.
For the first month, I spent most of the time between when I woke up and when I had coffee, generally pissed off. Eventually, that dread of no coffee helped me force myself back to sleep at 3 until 4 and at 4 until 5 and at 5 until 5:30.
What used to be Fitbit sleep scores in the 70s for most of the week have become sleep scores in the 80s. Just yesterday, I slept until 6 am!
Life Coach Insights: Uncovering Solutions Beyond the Obvious
What are my two big takeaways from this experience (besides a few extra hours of sleep almost nightly)? First, the thing you are most resistant to is where you find the power of change. Is there a suggestion that immediately makes you say, “No Way In Hell!”? Are you willing to look at that?
Second, having a life coach helps you see things that specialists and those who live with you every day may not have the insight or opportunity to help you see what’s going to be most helpful.
Is there a change that immediately makes you say, “No Way In Hell!” Are you willing to look at that?