Living Debt-Free in my 60s

I don’t like being in debt. I don’t want to owe somebody something. I don’t want to owe the bank money. I don’t want to owe a friend a favor. I don’t want to owe a business a return phone call. But there’s a cost to doing business. And that cost is what I owe others.  

Acknowledging My Debts

For me to even know how to repay those debts, I need to stay aware of all that I have been given. I take inventory regularly of the abundance I have in my life. And acknowledge the debts I have:

• To my husband

• To my sister

• To my children

• To my parents

• To my friends and neighbors

• To my colleagues

• To my coaches, guides, and support groups

• To my education

• To my privilege

• Myself during these in-between years

Repayment

Repayment for what I owe is not usually monetary. The best way for me to cancel the debt is through gratitude. And through action. Gratitude in action.

What does that look like? It's understanding that different people appreciate different gestures, tangible or emotional expressions. That repayment is done in their currency, not my own. And on their timeline, not mine.

Gratitude in Action

For instance, my sister and I shared an unbalanced account for much of our earlier years. With the loss of our mom in our twenties, my sister was a pillar of support through my various life stages–weddings, childbirth and child-rearing, moves, disappointments, divorce, and depressions–and I carried a debt of gratitude I thought impossible to repay.

Then tragedy struck with the death of her husband. The roles reversed. I became the giver, showing up for her during her darkest days. Whatever she needed was my priority.

“My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground on which I stand.” Shantideva

Timing Matters

You may not always be able to repay your debts immediately, and it may not always be convenient to pay them when the other person needs them. There were years when I had little to offer. But when the time came, I showed up. Years after my sister’s loss, our dynamic has shifted. Incomes and expenses are more balanced—some giving, some receiving.

In our 60s, this journey is not just about settling accounts; it's about navigating the complexities of gratitude, action, and the reciprocity that defines our relationships and our membership in our communities.

So, who do you owe? And how are you planning to cancel that debt?