The Decluttering Mindset

I give as much space in my mind to the idea of decluttering as I do to the actual clutter in my house.

Managing Clutter in Daily Life

I am constantly “shuffling sh*t,” as my sister and I kindly refer to it. Whether on a trip with a suitcase full of possessions we agonized over for weeks or in a house full of precious (and not so precious) objects collected over a lifetime, I move things from one place to another (and forget where I put them or not finding them when needed. 

I’m ruthless in some areas–papers, clothes that don’t fit or don’t work for me, shoes that are uncomfortable. A little less so with gifts I’ve received that I’ve never successfully integrated into my life.

I have things I can’t let go of easily, too, that I’ve shuffled from one room to the next or have carried with me from one move to the next or tried to pawn off on my kids. Books, notebooks, and really useful boxes that might one day be the perfect box for gifting an item or shipping a package (I inherited that one from my mom). 

Most everything else can go. Except pottery. And the perfect purse (until the next one comes along). And the scarves, many of them gifted to me or made of such delicious textures or colors that I can’t let go. And the candles that I save for special occasions in the way my grandmother saved the good china.

Clutter is a source of tension in my marriage. To be honest, my husband’s clutter is much more troublesome to me than my own. Decluttering is also a source of frustration for me. In one moment, I can toss something into the Goodwill bag and, in the other, hit the “add to cart” button.

I wonder what I would do with my time and my worry energy if I weren’t constantly cleaning out a closet or trying to organize a drawer. (That’s probably a good question to work on with my own coach!)

Learning from Minimalist Influences

I remember reading Elaine St. James’ book Simplify Your Life in the early 2000s. I learned (and so often experience the universal truth) that it’s much easier to keep track of one of something than multiples of something. For her, it was nail files; for my sister, reading glasses. 

I’ve read up on decluttering. The psychology. The strategies.  The mind games. I found the The Minimalist Home and Soulful Simplicity: How Living with Less Can Lead to So Much More helpful in getting clear about what I want.

Aspiring to Leave a Legacy

I am especially fond of the ideas presented in The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. I think it’s my responsibility to take care of my possessions, even in death. I aspire that after I die, my children will have less than a day’s worth of sorting, distributing, and donating.

I don’t want them to dread the task or take weeks off of work to deal with my leftovers, as many of my friends must do for their parent’s possessions. I also don’t want them to suffer guilt or indecision about getting rid of something that may (or may not) have been important to me–and is not at all important to them. I want them to know if I still owned something it’s because it was either very meaningful to me or very useful. Ideally, both. Then, they can make their decisions about what it means to them and move on.

Making Peace with Your Possessions

Maybe the thing I most need to declutter is my fear of clutter and what that clutter says about me and my time on earth. I hope I come to some kind of peace with myself–either by making friends with my clutter or getting rid of it. I certainly don’t want to remain stuck in the purgatory of wanting less and wanting more simultaneously.

What kind of clutter–physically and literally–challenges you? What do the things you cling to say about you? Your values? Your fears? If you could wave a magic wand, what magic would happen for you?