Finding CALM in Life’s Changes: A Guide for Over 60s
In a year that promises plenty of change—a new old president, more climate-related challenges, the transition at home as my husband retires, another birthday, and travel to places both planned and unplanned—I’ve chosen CALM as my word for the year. It’s my anchor for navigating an already busy and unpredictable agenda.
To help keep me centered, I’ve turned CALM into an acronym that serves as my True North:
Curious
Accept
Loving
Mindful
Here’s how I plan to use CALM when life gets challenging, whether it’s dealing with difficulties, disappointments, boredom, or uncertainty:
Staying Curious in the Face of Uncertainty
Curiosity is such a powerful tool when life feels overwhelming. Instead of getting stuck in panic or frustration, I’ll ask myself questions to shift my perspective:
What’s really going on here?
Is there another way to look at this?
What’s one small thing I can do to understand this better?
Journaling can also help spark curiosity. I’ll write down what’s bothering me and then explore some “what if” scenarios:
What if this challenge is teaching me something?
What if this isn’t as bad as it seems?
The goal isn’t to solve everything right away but to stay curious instead of letting stress take over.
Practicing Acceptance When Life Throws Curveballs
Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to love what’s happening—it’s about making peace with reality. When life throws me a curveball, I’ll ask:
What’s within my control right now?
What do I need to let go of?
A simple mindfulness exercise helps me lean into acceptance. The “three breaths” technique helps me:
Take a deep breath and acknowledge what’s happening.
Take another breath and remind myself of what I can’t control.
Take a final breath and focus on what I can do, no matter how small.
Tara Brach calls this “radical acceptance,” and it’s been transformative for me. As she says, “The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.”
Finding Self-Compassion Through Loving Actions
Why are we so tough on ourselves? When things go wrong, I’ll pause and ask:
What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?
Sometimes that might mean giving myself permission to take a break. Other times, it could be saying no to something draining or simply telling myself, “I’m doing the best I can.”
Small acts of kindness for myself also help—like taking a walk, reading a mystery novel, or treating myself to lunch out on my own. Because let’s face it, surviving a tough day is an occasion worth celebrating.
Staying Present with Mindfulness Practices
Staying in the moment is tricky when stress tries to tear my CALM apart. Here’s a somatic mindfulness exercise that can help me keep it together:
Pause and name five things I can see around me.
Name four things I can touch.
Name three things I can hear.
Name two things I can smell.
Take one deep breath.
This simple practice pulls me back into the present and reminds me to see things as they are, not as my brain is catastrophizing them to be. Mindfulness isn’t about ignoring problems—it’s about staying in the moment instead of trying to escape it or make it go away.
Real-Life Example: Staying CALM When Traveling
Some situations might be mountains; others are molehills. Here’s how I’d use CALM if I missed a flight connection:
Curious:
How big a deal is it that I miss my connection?
Do I know for sure I’m going to miss it?
Is arriving on time critical, or am I making this bigger than it needs to be?
Accept:
Am I in control of the airplane, its departure time, or my connection?
What do I need to accept about this situation?
Loving:
What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself here?
Can I kindly talk to the gate agent?
Could I take a walk to clear my head or let someone know I’m delayed?
Mindful:
How am I using this situation to make myself feel like a victim?
Can I focus on the present instead of spiraling into “why did I book this flight?” regrets?
Your Turn: Create Your Own CALM
If CALM resonates with you, which part feels most relevant right now? Think about a challenge you’re facing and try applying the CALM framework. What might it help you navigate or see differently? Let me know how it goes—we’re all in this together!
What’s your word for 2025? Take a moment to pick one that speaks to where you are in life and turn it into your own guiding acronym. Share your word and acronym in the comments or send me an email—I’d love to hear about it!