Mirror Image
As I navigate my sixties, I am often surprised by the reflection staring back at me from the mirror or the screen during Zoom calls. More often than not, I expect to see a younger version of myself, only to be confronted with the reality of aging. The gray hair, the lines etched around my lips and eyes, and the various imperfections that have become more apparent over time—like that gobbledygook below my chin. What is that about?!— are constant reminders of time passing.
Confronting Aging: Reflections of Self in the Mirror
Much like the Wicked Witch in Snow White, I realize that I am not the fairest of them all or even the fairest version of myself. Buddhist Nun Pema Chodron aptly describes this experience as the "unforeseen feedback from the mirror." She wisely advises against blaming the mirror for our reflection; that feedback is a messenger of our current reality.
As we come to terms with the inevitability of aging, we also begin to question not just our physical appearance but our very identities—the honest reflections we see in the mirror. Our roles as professionals, mothers, daughters, and friends undergo profound transformations alongside the changes in our outward appearance. We are not that Very Important Person at work or to our precious “children.”
In Sylvia Plath's poignant poem "Mirror," written in 1961 (the year I was born), she captures the essence of this struggle in her personification of the mirror:
“I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.”
In addition to struggling with societal expectations around aging, we are questioning our changing roles and relevancy without those identities.
At times, I feel like Alice in Through the Looking Glass, stepping through the mirror into a world where everything is reversed. Mirrors become portals to worlds where reality is distorted, leaving me feeling disoriented and off-balance. My younger self feels subsumed by the older person looking back.
Feng Shui Mirrors
Perhaps it's time to approach mirrors in our lives as Feng Shui practitioners do. In Feng Shui philosophy, mirrors are potent tools for manipulating energy within a space. They serve to amplify positive energy, correct spatial imbalances, and foster abundance and prosperity. Just as Feng Shui practitioners strategically position mirrors to create the illusion of spaciousness and multiply reflections of abundance, I am trying to harness the power of my wisdom to enhance my life.
Rather than fixating on our perceived flaws or the unsettling reflections in the mirror, let’s embrace mirrors as portals of energy and abundance. Let’s reimagine our relationship with mirrors as we journey through the transformative landscape of aging, finding beauty and prosperity in the reflections of our lives.
How do you think what you see in the mirror differs from what others see? What do you long to see reflected in your mirrors? How can you make that true?