Designing a Life of Meaning and Balance in the Year Ahead

Much like the word “liminal” that I explored in an earlier blog, two other words have been on my mind since a recent holiday gathering: magnanimity and equanimity. I knew their definitions, but understanding what they mean in practice—to recognize them when I encounter them—is another story entirely. Can you spot magnanimity when it greets you in the checkout line? Does equanimity show up when you least expect it?

Instead of asking AI to break down these words, I turned to my most trusted source of human intelligence: my clever, educated, and ever-accessible ex-husband. He’s my go-to for everything words. (Case in point: when I needed to remember the word for the smell of rain that starts with a “p”—*"petrichor"—he had the answer.)

Magnanimity: The Opposite of Transactional

A recently elected politician had been described as entirely transactional—even in personal relationships. According to my human source, “Transactional relationships view interactions as a zero-sum game: if you are winning or prospering, then I must be losing—it must come at my expense. But if I am winning or prospering, one way I can recognize that is by observing your losing or suffering. I can only profit, advance myself, or get ahead at other people’s expense.”

I asked what word might describe the opposite of “transactional.” “Magnanimity,” he easily answered. It means having a great mind, heart, and spirit—a deep, generous spirit that gives of itself without expectation.

Magnanimous interactions

What if you interacted with your loved ones magnanimously rather than transactionally? Could it help you avoid petty arguments, give others the benefit of the doubt, and foster a deeper connection? What’s more, imagine applying magnanimity to everyday interactions: treating the checkout clerk or a stranger with a generous spirit. How would that shift the energy of the exchange? How might it change you?

Equanimity: One Mind for All Phenomena

The second word I brought to my human source for dissection and explanation was “equanimity.” True to form, he responded with a deep dive into its roots and nuances. The word breaks down to "equal mind" (Latin: equi = equal, animus = mind, heart, spirit). But what does an “equal mind” mean?

His explanation offered clarity: equanimity is the ability to greet all phenomena—good, bad, or neutral—with a steady, compassionate mind. It’s not indifference in the sense of apathy. Rather, it’s a mindful detachment that keeps you from being pulled into reactive habits or distorted thinking.

Take snow, for example. Love it or hate it, snow is just snow. It’s our stories about it (“This will ruin my trip” vs. “I’m going to love playing in it”) that shape our experience. The snow itself hasn’t changed, but our perspective has—and equanimity reminds us of this truth. (If you recall my blog on oatmeal, you’ll notice the same principle: oatmeal is just oatmeal.)

Words as Guides

Until I can fully grasp a word, I hesitate to use it publicly. My need for authenticity in using language requires examples and nuances that I can call my own. So, for now, I’ll lean on synonyms like composure, calmness, and collectedness to describe my aspirations toward equanimity. Perhaps “calmness” will be my guiding light as I cultivate an equanimous mind, especially when listening to the news or talking to others whose views cause strong reactions.

As for magnanimity, its generosity feels like an aspiration worth striving for in every interaction—from the smallest kindness to the deepest relationships.

A House Built on Two Words

Dwell in a house with intention

In 2025, I want to dwell in the house of magnanimity and equanimity, not just as a visitor but as a lifelong resident. I envision these principles as the foundation of a home where every interaction is framed by generosity and steadiness, a sanctuary shared with others who see these values as both a guiding light and an aspirational goal.

What about you? Do these words resonate with you? What word or words will you live with in 2025?

Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s make this year’s journey about words—and actions— that inspire us to be better and live with intention.