The Dreaded Day of Boredom

Recently, I endured an excruciatingly boring day, a Sunday as it happens. The hours dragged on, and I found myself unable to escape the grip of boredom despite my efforts. I tried reading, streaming shows, cleaning, napping, and even fixing lunch, but nothing seemed to break the monotony. It wasn’t that I lacked things to do; I simply didn't feel like doing any of them.

Many people my age, still in the workforce, fear boredom in retirement more than anything else.

What is Boredom?

Brené Brown defines boredom as “the uncomfortable state of wanting to engage in satisfying activity but being unable to do it.”

In a 2023 article published in Frontiers of Sociology, the authors describe boredom as a state of mind characterized by a lack of interest, stimulation, or challenge.

We all experience boredom at times—and it can affect us in various ways.

Boredom in Childhood

As a parent of young kids, I learned that boredom can be a child's friend. When my kids complained of boredom, my typical response was a nonchalant “hmm” or “too bad.” More times than not I would realize an hour had gone by and I had not heard from them—they were happily engaged in some kind of self-directed play.

My mother answered summer boredom simply: “Go read a book or ride your bike.” Either that or she would offer to find me a household chore to do. To this day, my go-to remedy for boredom is reading a book.

Your parents' response to your boredom might have planted certain voices in your head. These stories can trigger powerful emotions when we feel bored as adults. For instance, we might feel ungrateful—thinking we have so much, so we shouldn’t be bored. We might feel shame—believing we should be using our creativity better. Or we might feel disconnected—thinking we wouldn’t be bored if we had friends.

When Boredom Is a Problem

As an adult, I've come to understand the darker side of boredom. Research has shown that boredom is not only linked to depression but can also be both a risk factor and a symptom of depression. Some of us are more prone to boredom, and because it can signal depression, I find myself especially sensitive to it. I often worry that my boredom is a precursor to a prolonged bout of depression. Usually, it turns out to be regular ho-hum boredom and can easily be solved—with a book, or a walk, or a household chore.

Boredom can also negatively impact impulse control and addiction. Have you ever found yourself rummaging through the kitchen for something to eat even when you aren’t hungry or shopping online for things you don’t need? That’s boredom seeking stimulation. Our brains crave an escape from the discomfort of boredom.

I vividly remember the day I first smoked a cigarette and drank alcohol (Boone’s Farm Apple Wine and Marlboros—yuck!). My best friend and her siblings moved away the day after school ended, leaving me dreading a boring summer. As I sat outside feeling lonely, a friend rode by on her bike and invited me to a party that afternoon, where I was introduced to cigarettes and alcohol. That moment of boredom and loneliness set the stage for a long struggle with nicotine addiction and alcohol misuse. It’s a cautionary tale for parents and a reminder of our human desire to escape uncomfortable emotions.

Fortunately, my recent bout of boredom was situational (known as “state boredom”—just temporary circumstances) and not a sign of depression (referred to as “trait boredom”—where it’s more part of your personality). After languishing for hours on Sunday, I woke up Monday with renewed energy. I wrote this blog—and a few others. I reconnected with friends and family and even went to my exercise class with a newfound commitment to staying active.

Boredom in the Modern Age

I often hear judgmental comments like "I never get bored" or "I wish I had the time to be bored" when I mention that I'm feeling bored. It's as if feeling bored is seen as a character flaw or a sign of not having an interesting enough life. This societal view suggests that being bored indicates a lack of stimulation or intellectual engagement. My guess is that those that don’t ever feel boredom use some kind of boredom “chaser” like social media, frenzied activity, or watching television.

The pandemic brought many of us face-to-face with boredom. With the usual busyness of going to the office, socializing on weekends, and shopping in stores put on hold, we were left asking, “What now?” It’s no coincidence that in the wake of the pandemic, the International Society of Boredom Studies published the inaugural issue of the Journal of Boredom Studies in 2023.

As our attention spans decrease and our reliance on entertainment grows, boredom is becoming more common across all ages. The expectation that educators are now entertainers, that television programs must constantly thrill, and that our social media feeds should be endlessly engaging, reflects a societal shift towards needing constant stimulation. This trend has contributed to an increased difficulty in tolerating periods of inactivity and a reduced ability to find satisfaction in quieter, less stimulating activities.

The Benefits of Boredom

Although boredom is often seen in a negative light, it can actually have positive effects on individuals. According to an article in Psychology Today, boredom has the potential to serve as a motivation for change, prompting individuals to generate new ideas, engage in introspection, and unleash their creativity. It can act as a catalyst for seeking out novel experiences, setting fresh goals, or embarking on exciting new adventures.

I look forward to more research findings on boredom and its effects. Until then, I will embrace those rare days of boredom, recognizing them for their opportunities for self-reflection, creativity, and personal growth. Boredom, while uncomfortable, can be a friend.

If you're struggling with boredom and looking for ways to turn it into a productive and transformative force in your life, consider working with me as a coach. Together, we can explore strategies to harness boredom's power and turn it into a catalyst for positive change.

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Is Boredom in Retirement Your Friend or Your Foe?