Social Media is Disregulating My Nervous System: How’s Yours?
I can’t keep up with all the offers, the courses, the 10 steps, the 5 ways, and the 3 crucial reasons why. It's overwhelming! These constant demands are sending my autonomic nervous system into overdrive, activating my fight-or-flight response and disrupting my emotional well-being.
And I don’t want to be part of the problem. As a coach looking to attract new readers and, eventually, clients, I’m wary of using marketing tactics that only add to the stress and anxiety already impacting our lives. I’ve learned a lot recently about the importance of nervous system regulation, primarily through understanding the vagus nerve and its role in helping us find calm, balance, and that much-needed rest and digest state.
Make sure to get the Takeaway about regulating your nervous system below.
What’s the Big Deal About a Dysregulated Nervous System?
You might have heard about the autonomic nervous system (ANS), the part of our nervous system that controls our automatic functions like heart rate, digestion, and breathing. The ANS has two main parts: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), which revs us up (think “fight or flight”), and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which calms us down (“rest and digest”).
When we’re in a balanced state, these two systems work together like a well-tuned orchestra. But when we’re constantly in “fight-or-flight” mode—thanks to the endless notifications, emails, and demands on our time—it’s like the orchestra is playing off-key. We feel stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. If this goes on too long, our system may go into shutdown mode, where we feel numb, disconnected, or even depressed. This is known as the “dorsal vagal state,” which is the body’s way of conserving energy when it feels threatened.
I know this all too well. Some days, I find myself shutting down, lying in bed, streaming Netflix, and avoiding sunlight or movement. Not a great look for a 63-year-old, especially when it becomes a regular occurrence. That’s when I know I’ve become so dysregulated that I can’t function. On other days, I might make impulsive purchases, trying to “rescue” myself from the threat of my own mindset or the various monsters chasing me in my daytime nightmares.
Understanding the ANS with Deb Dana’s Work
Deb Dana, a clinician and expert on the polyvagal theory, has been pivotal in helping people understand how the ANS affects our daily lives. According to Dana, the vagus nerve—part of the PNS—is like a superhighway connecting our brain to our body, influencing how we respond to stress and engage with others. When we feel safe and connected, our vagus nerve helps keep us in a “ventral vagal state”—a calm, socially engaged state. But when we feel threatened or overwhelmed, we move into “sympathetic” or “dorsal vagal” states, impacting our ability to think clearly, connect with others, and feel safe.
Dana emphasizes the importance of “neuroception,” or the body’s automatic detection of safety or danger, which happens without our conscious awareness. This is why specific marketing tactics that create urgency, fear, or scarcity can trigger our “fight or flight” response. The body perceives a threat; we either get anxious and impulsive or shut down entirely. Visit her website to learn more about how this works and how to better manage your nervous system.
The Dilemma: Marketing Without Triggering “Fight or Flight”
As a coach, I’ve received many suggestions about how to activate your fight-or-flight response—your sympathetic nervous system—by creating urgency and anxiety so that you feel compelled to buy my coaching services. But I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to trick your body into thinking it's in danger just to make a sale.
Instead, I aim to help you move toward a state of calm and rest, to help co-regulate your nervous system. This is where we connect, human to human. It's not about manipulating you into a purchase but about inviting you into a space where you feel safe, supported, and ready to take positive steps in your life. Think of it as part coach, part emotional support animal.
Why This Matters to You—and to Me
Our bodies crave balance. When we spend too much time in “fight or flight,” we can’t rest, digest, or connect meaningfully. That’s why learning to regulate our nervous systems is so important. Simple practices like deep breathing, mindful movement, and even gentle stretches can help shift us back into a more balanced state.
As someone who learns and practices these things daily, I want to attract clients who resonate with this approach. I’m looking for those who want to thrive, not just survive, who are interested in creating calm, balanced, and meaningful lives, not just chasing the next adrenaline rush.
How I Can Help Without Hijacking Your Nervous System
So, how do I help you find me without becoming another source of stress? Here’s my plan:
Honest Communication: I’ll be straightforward about my offers, without hidden tactics or scarity language. If what I provide resonates with you, great! If not, that’s okay too.
Empathy and Connection: I want to build genuine relationships where you feel supported and regulated. Think of this as a collaboration, not a sales pitch.
Value Without Strings: I’ll offer helpful tips, free resources, and insights without expecting anything in return. You decide whether to take the next step.
Wrapping Up: Finding Calm in the Chaos
At the end of the day, we all want to feel safe, connected, and at peace. Let’s move away from the marketing tactics that trigger stress and anxiety and towards an approach that respects your nervous system and mine. I’m here to help you find that balance, to thrive in a life you want.
Click here to pick-up the Nervous System Regulation Takeaway.
#Autonomic nervous system
#Fight or flight response
#Nervous system regulation
#Stress management
#Calming techniques
#Vagus nerve
#Rest and digest
#Emotional well-being
#Chronic stress
#Mindful breathing